Optimism FTW

Soooooooo… I was having a good November but when December rolled around I could feel something was off. He felt distant and not as fluffy. But I'm glad he told me how he truly felt and I am coming to terms with it. I felt kinda like I got acceptance letters to all these amazing school only for them to tell me, NOPE we don't want you hahahahahaha 

jk he said it in a sweet way so it wasn't really like that but it just feels like that. But you know what I'm awesome so suck it world. I am just gonna be nicer to you than you have been to me. 

FYI

I'm gonna be doing lots of posting on my frustration here. I'm in France and the first week has been the best yet worse.

How I wished it'd gone:

How it actually gone:

Pretty much I'm just trying not to cry even though he did nothing wrong but it just didn't turn out how I wanted it to. I doubt it would be easier if he was an asshole but I just liked him more and more as I spent more time with him. God damn it. 

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I don't get it. Why can't the people you like just like you back. And why can't guys like being chased after than the one doing the chasing. And why can't people just stop making me feel shitty if I want to holler at the top of my lungs to the guy I like that I have the biggest fattest most physician cautioned obese crush on him. Aghhh sexual politics!!!